About Kelley Lynn

I am a comedian, writer, actor, and performer; residing just outside NYC; trying to live my dreams. I had the most wonderful marriage and husband in the world. Then, on July 13, 2011, my life changed forever when he went into sudden cardiac arrest and  was instantly taken from us.  He was only 46; I was only 39; and he was my world. The words and passages that follow in this blog represent just a portion of what’s been inside my head since that terrible, earth-shattering day. So far; the ONLY thing that has helped is to write. I want the world to know my husband, and how amazing he was. I want to write about life, death, grief, and the most incredible love I have ever known. With your help, I am writing a book. What you will read here are just some of the pieces that will be in my book. What I have discovered is that grief is NOT the way it is portrayed in other books, movies, or on TV. Grief is insane, unpredictable, hilarious, ridiculous, heartbreaking, confusing, and insane. DID I MENTION INSANE??? We all have death in common. Everyone has experienced loss, and everyone can relate to this story. This is my story; but it might also be yours.  Please help me share it with everyone you know. Love never dies; and by sharing him with you; I can help him to live forever ….

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28 thoughts on “About Kelley Lynn

    • My friend Kevenn turned me onto this blog. My husband of 15 years died on July 27th, 2013. I’m lost. Thank you for helping me and others to navigate through “widowhood”.

        • I am so sorry Cal. It is shocking for a long time. Keep coming here and reading, if it helps you. It really does help to talk to others who “get” what youre going through. Keep sharing it. Im listening.

  1. Thanks for being honest. Its funny how I’ve been trying to hold back my feelings so I don’t make other people feel bad . . . for 2 years now. I still lost all the people I thought were my friends. I am so freakin alone without my husband. I think you are right to just be who you are and not let other people make you feel badly. You inspire me to accept myself more and allow my feelings to just be, even if other people can’t understand. Much love to you . . .

  2. Hi Kelley, you are making a difference. You are a wonderful writer, and I personally got sucked hook-line-and-sinker into your post about your talk with the medium. I shared your post in my blog today. Thank you for sharing your stories! I’m sure I will come back and visit again soon.

  3. Kelley, I lost my Dan the same way on Dec 19 2009. I want to say, in w”widow” I know you and your life—I love ya. Thinking of you. Thats all.

  4. Sorry for your loss. You are hilarious in Opie’s videos. The osw one with the signs is my favorite. Take care.

  5. My husband died on June 25, 2012. While I “knew” he was going to die because he was unable to get a transplant, there was NO way in hell I was “ready” for it. We were married exactly 8.5 years. I can so relate to your blog and to the fact that NO ONE (who has not lost a spouse) has a freakin’ clue and almost EVERYONE has some kind of stupid platitude or comment that is totally thoughtless and crass. Thank you for writing!

  6. I found you via your DWTS blog and saw that you had a blog about getting over the death of your husband, so I came over to take a look. I’m so sorry that this happened to you. I cannot imagine what this must have been like to go through. I will say, however, that you are a remarkable writer. You have a style that is very personable and engaging, as if you and I have been friends forever. That’s quite a unique talent. I’m so glad that you didn’t become so desperate from this tragedy that you couldn’t stand to live through it…this world is a better place with your amazing writing talent. I don’t even know you but it’s obvious that you’re amazing. *hugs* I’m very busy with my photography hobby, but I would like to try to read more of your blog and keep up with your DWTS blogs too! So nice to meet you.

  7. I think I love you.. Your brutal honesty is refreshing.. You say a lot of the things I think… When you said not only did I lose my past and present but my future.. It shook me to my core because I say it all the time.., when you talked about the 3 minute fog when you wake up.. my heart ached i know that one all too well… when you said FU to my husbands heart you could have gave warning I balled.. My husband was 26 when he died of a stroke from heart complications.. It didnt give warning.. It was so suddenly… As I sit here typing crying my eyes because for the first time in 18 months I can really see that I’m am not alone in my pain.. I hate that this is a bond I have with you.. I hate you or anyone has to go through this… But I thank you for what you are doing you have no idea what this did to be this morning and I found it by accident

  8. Kelly. You have a gift.. to describe all the little and not so little things that made our daily lives so fantastic, so different from all the others, but above all, all the laughter that we all shared with our husbands. Laughing with him, at him, at us. Life is made of tiny little moments, some words, some spur of the moment actions, some private jokes that nobody would have a clue about. And yes… you have the gift to make us laugh about what you write, and about our remembrance of the weird stuff that we also enjoyed.. keep writing.

  9. Hi Kelley,

    I’ve never done this before. I mean, sure an email but never reached out to anyone I didn’t know.

    My name is Sherry and I live in San Diego, Ca. My “common-law” husband of 15 plus years left me on January 29th, 2013 at 2:30pm. He had just dropped me off at my son’s house after running errands with me earlier. He had picked me up at 1:00 that afternoon. I got to laugh with him, talk about our grandchildren, even got a bite to eat. By the time he dropped me off, he was a little pissed at me because I was harassing him about getting back to the house to lie down with the vaporizer as he had just been released from the emergency room two days prior, sent home with a diagnosis of bronchitis and acute asthma. He promised me he would, begrudgingly, I got out of the truck and he drove off. The following events that occurred next were told to me by his relatives. It took him approximately 8 mins to get from where he had dropped me off and get back to his parents home. He pulled up, parked his truck where he normally did, walked up a slight incline towards the garage, walked into the garage and collapsed dead. You’re probably wondering exactly what I was wondering as I listened to this account, WHAT THE HELL? Long story short Kelley and after a autopsy was performed, He died of a pulmonary embolism brought on by DVT in both legs. At this point, I want you to look back up this email at about 8 lines up. Imagine that? SENT HOME. Diagnosis of bronchitis and ACUTE asthma. The love of my life, my children’s lives, my grandchildren’s lives was gone in an instant.

    Bet your wondering why am I telling you this huh? Carey brought me to you 2 days later online. I was desperate, inconsolable, numb, nauseous, damn near suicidal ( still am truth be told) but I felt compelled to look for a place where I could maybe, just maybe express my pain, my feelings, my thoughts. If not that then at least to read about others who could relate to what I was feeling. And there you were…My angel. What my baby had sent to me. It took me this long to reach out to you. I’ve read all you stories on your blog RIP the life I knew. I cried every third line or so I think. I guess you and Don reminded me alot of Carey and I in some ways, not alot but it was almost like familiarity. Hope this doesn’t sound weird or anything but, do you think we could talk? I don’t have alot of people left who could stomach hearing me talk about him one more time, need fresh meat! Let me know via your blog or however, I don’t know, not really use to that either. Thanks Kelley.

  10. Hello Kelley Lynn.

    Today, October 28, 2013, the bottle that you put in the water yesterday at Tappan Beach has been found!! My twin brother who is 73, and lives in Sea Cliff was walking along Tappan Beach with his wife this morning and found it. I assume the tide was low. He read your beautiful and meaningful message to me (I live in Houston, Texas) and we were both a bit teary eyed.

    I wish you every happiness in your life. Although, you do not think so today, you will be happy again, there will be joy in your life. I am not overly religious, but I do believe that God watches over all of us, and some day, when you least expect it, what ever it takes to make you happy again, will happen. No I don’t have the answer to why there is heartbreak and sorrow in this world, but I know we are all here to help each other through.

    I was in Sea Cliff from September 24th to Oct. 10th 2013. I try to go every year. It is so beautiful. Ironically, my friends and I even pulled up into the parking lot of Sans Souci to turn our car around. We had clams on the half shell at the “?” shack on Tappan Beach. You can’t get them for love or money in Houston. It’s crazy, but we even took a photograph of us eating the clams.

    Both my brother and I will pass along your meaningful advise to our loved ones and friends.

    My very best to you

    Lois Alker

    P.S. My brother just told me that his daughter, Nancy Cuite, is also sending you a note.

  11. i know how you feel, it is so sad to lose our soulmate, i can relate too, i pray everyday that God would be so kind to me, that to take my life with my husband together, because i know, i can’t live without him eventhough i have family that care for me, but i just can’t

  12. I just read your blog I lost my husband seven weeks ago so my emotions are still raw. My husband was my best friend and soul mate. I was fortunate to have been married for twenty-five years and I am truly grateful for every day I had with him. I have never known such pain as I feel now at first I felt numb I remember hardly anything of his funeral it was just a blur.

    To know that I am not the only person who thinks I have not only lost my past present but my future. My husband was my everything my world I loved him so much no I love him so much that my whole body aches. Your blog has helped me so much to see someone express the feeling I so want to but can’t.

    • Thank you so much Nicola. I love your name, by the way. So pretty. And Im SO sorry for your tremendous loss. It makes me feel good whenever
      my words can help anyone going through this to feel any sort of comfort, so thank you.

  13. Thank you for this blog. I lost my husband to suicide, after a struggle with addiction. We were married 3.5 years, but together for 10, we were both 28. We had just found out I was pregnant. Our little girl is now the love of my life and what he always wanted… A little girl who looks just like me. I feel like I need to move on…she needs a dad…but how is that possible when all my fantasies are still of him? It’s been 19 months now. Plus as you very well know changes in life can make it feel like it feel like it happened yesterday and I’m having to move from the only home we had together for work. Even though I know there is no reality in It I can’t help but feel like he won’t be able to “find” me if I move. Wow I miss him. I just want someone to hold me again but the thought of that being any other man makes me want to vomit. Well enough of my rambling I just wanted to thank you for the blog and you bravery to talk about your experience. I find society doesn’t like us to talk about widowhood unless we are 70+. I think it just makes others to darn uncomfortable!

    • OH Tiffany, what a heartbreaking story you have. God, Im so sorry. Im glad that anything I wrote in here resonated with
      you in some way. You are really brave everytime you decide to get up and try life again – I truly believe that, because that is how hard and how painful
      this widowed life is. Please feel free to contact me anytime if you ever want to talk or vent or need someone who gets it.

  14. Pingback: Heroine of Awesome- Kelley Lynn | My Journey To Awesome

  15. hello Kelley! i went to Camp Widow i Tampa 2015 and for the 1st time sincei lost my beloved (7/31/09) ;i laughed so hard, i could not stop wiith tears running down my face. i am so thankful i finally got there and your talkan show woke me up to
    WE R NOT Alone and are all connected to the other.. and we an alway be with our like minded men and womenwidowed friends. i love he Widow card still holding on to my doggie emotiona support animal cetififcate photo.. my feelings of love and devotion came spilig out after almost six years of a strong face.. check me out .
    meetup.com Widowed social group//Steppingforward
    im Gite

  16. Hi Kelley

    My darling Dave (Jeremy Bear) died just under three weeks ago. We were together for 26 years. We also ran our own business so we worked together every day. On Friday 5th August I got ready for work as usual but Bear felt unwell and said he would join me later. He suffered from allergy issues in the summer months so I wasn’t overly concerned. I told him to phone me if he didn’t feel well enough for work that day.

    The call I got from home that afternoon changed my little world forever. My son had found Dave slumped on the floor, cold and with blood pouring from his mouth. I tried to calm my hysterical son and then phoned for an ambulance. I was about five miles away at work and God only knows how I made that desperate drive home. When I arrived after what seemed like an eternity the paramedic was waiting on our porch, she came towards me and put her arms around me. He was 47 years old.

    The police came and then the Coroner’s office took his body some time later. I begged them not to take him because my Bear belonged at home. I just held him and spoke to him as he lay there. Apart from the blood he just looked like he was sleeping and I thought he would wake up.

    His shoes are still by the television waiting for him to step into them and join me at work.

    I am destroyed. I am not Gina anymore. How can I be when half of me has been ripped away.

    The Coroner’s report came in this Monday. They said it was a massive brain haemorrhage and he wouldn’t have known much about it. Why in God’s name did I leave him that morning. The last words I said were “call me” and then I hurried out the door.

    Mornings, evenings and everything in between are a living hell. I’m still waiting for him to come home and I guess I always will be.

    • Oh gosh Gina. All I can say right now is this : JUST KEEP BREATHING. You are right. You are destroyed right now. You will never be the Gina that you used to be. How could you be? But you WILL be Gina – a different version, yes, but you are not gone, and neither is your precious Bear. For now, just take everything one second at a time, and know that you are not alone in your pain and sorrow.

  17. Kelley Lynn, I read your blog about “the friend” you got involved with four years after your husband’s death who is not emotionally ready for a relationship…. Walk away do not call him have no contact. You are comforting him through his grief in hope that things will change. They will not change, do not invest any of yourself in the person as they are profiting from your companionship. There is a comfort with someone you know, so since he does know you well _ tell him to give you a call when he is ready. I had the same experience and it was painful but has proven to be appropriate. You do not need to grief another person. Wish you well..

    • THanks for the advice, but with all due respect, you dont know the full situation. Im not walking away, and I am not comforting him through his grief in hopes that things will change. We are friends. We have a beautiful friendship, and if its never anything more than that, Im completely okay with that. Walking away is never going to happen. My life is a milion times better with him in it, than without him in it. That is all thats important to me, is that life feels good and better when we are talking to each other. That is not a place I wish to run away from.

  18. My story is a little different, because we lost our mother after a long, long full life. She was a Big Band singer during the 1940’s, met and married Dad in 1946. I showed up in 1948; my kid sister Val in 1952. Mom raised us as a single parent. And it was years before the family breaches were mended. But they were. I am very happy for that. Reaching out and touching those who have been absent – if you can do it, and it is at all possible, I urge people to go for it. Initially we home cared mother because of ‘insurance failures’. But I must tell you all, it turned out to be a profoundly life changing gift. We will never be the same. Because mom’s dementia was not Alzheimer’s the trajectory downhill was somewhat gentler, and we were able to enjoy her when she’d have days of lucidity, mental clarity and real focus. Humor, love, arguing, hugging the dog, setting her hair, you name it, we did it!! Consequently, we were also able to speak about what she wanted for us after she passed – our ‘second lives’ if you like..mine will be in advocacy for teens at risk.What is my point here? Your beloved, when they die, keep in mind: THEY LOVED THE LIFE IN YOU!! And, that is the very best reason, not to ‘move on’, but to move through, as Kelley so wisely says..and then all of your life finds its renewed, richer purpose, as you honor the one, by using those memories of your life with them… for the very best reasons on Earth!! Be blest, everyone.

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