Eleven

 

:You know how sometimes, after the death of your husband, he comes to you in a dream that is soooo intense and sooo real, you can actually feel or hear or touch or smell him, even minutes and hours and days after you wake up? Have you ever felt something so palpable, so organic, that it stayed on your heart indefinately? No? Me neither. At least, not until last night. Last night – my husband was here. I felt him. This was my dream:

I was inside of a Best Buy, and I was in the movie section and picked up “This is Spinal Tap” and slowly started sobbing; because that is one of Don’s absolute favorite movies. I kept thinking of him always quoting from that, and Caddyshack, and Blazing Saddles. As I was sobbing, a large hand touched me on my shoulder and I turned around. It was Don. He was in one of his favorite shirts; a t-shirt we had bought the very first time I took him to the US Open tennis tournament. It said: “You call that a serve? Take that back to New Jersey!” I didn’t think it was that funny, but he found it hilarious and wore it all the time while playing tennis. Anyway, in the dream, I turned around and looked into his beautiful blue eyes and sobbed even harder. Continue reading “Eleven” »